April 23, 2014

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How To Sneak Alcohol On a Cruise Ship, Maybe

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how to sneak alcohol on a cruiseI told myself I would never write one of these articles because it goes against policies of the cruise lines – but after a dozen emails since January – I’ve decided to give it my best shot. I’m not saying I’ve tried all these, but I *know* people who have.

The second most money maker for cruise lines, behind the casino, is alcohol sales. Booze at sea isn’t that expensive but it does add up, so everyone wants to know how to sneak alcohol on a cruise ship without getting caught. Is it easy? Will I get caught? Will I be thrown off the ship if they catch me?

It’s fairly easy if you know what you’re doing and if you get caught, you pay for your drinks, no biggie. You can always be one of those people saying ‘I tried and got busted.’

Five ways to sneak alcohol on a cruise ship:

  1. Buy Plastic Mini Bottles. Go to the liquor store and pack plastic miniature bottles in your checked luggage. Don’t try to sneak it through the main embarkation area – you’ll never make it.
  2. Get Creative. Use different bottles for different colors of liquor. If your intentions are to bring dark liquor aboard, don’t put it in a water bottle, use something like a frosted Arizona Ice Tea bottle.
  3. Invest in a Rum Runner Flask. Picture a very sturdy hospital IV bag. That’s about what it is. They are under $30,  made of all plastic and pretty much undetectable and always top the list for best gifts for cruise lovers.
  4. In Port. A lot of stores in the ports sell booze that is premixed in juice boxes, think elementary lunchroom, you can easily walk back onto the ship with your purchase and not be seen. Remember, security is mostly looking for weird gear and swords (yes, in Venice, someone tried to bring a sword on the ship).
  5. Do it Legally. A  lot of people don’t realize that a majority of the cruise lines let you bring up to two bottles of wine or champagne on board. On top of that, some cruise lines let you bring beer. If your cruise is far enough out, you can pre-order your liquor to keep in your cabin. It’s actually not that bad of a deal. Recently on a Panama Canal sailing, I was able to pre-purchase a bottle of Jack Daniels and a six pack of coke for $34.95. To me it was worth it because A.) I could keep the liquor in my room and B.) it kept me from going to the bar every few hours.

So, as you see, there are ways to sneak alcohol on a cruise ship. It’s a matter of being smart about it and not trying to be obvious. If you get caught, you aren’t going to get thrown off the ship, they aren’t going to send you packing or call your parents (this isn’t high school). The cruise line security team will confiscate your liquor and you can pick it up the last night of the cruise.

Keep these tips in mind and you should be just fine, or better yet, just buy the booze on the ship and avoid this altogether.

If you have any other thoughts, I’d love to hear them.

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