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EDITORIAL

7 Outrageous Cruise Refund Requests

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We’ve all heard the saying, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” But that sure as heck doesn’t stop people from trying to get something for nothing… and that includes cruisers. While there are plenty of legitimate reasons that passengers might find themselves requesting a partial or full refund because of things that went wrong during their sailing, we also seem to be noticing a rise in the number of complaints which are petty at best and occasionally, downright ridiculous.

It didn’t take much time at all to compile these very real complaints from folks who genuinely believed themselves deserving of a refund. We’ve had a bit of fun at their expense, so the details have been changed up a bit to protect the innocent. We’ve also, just for fun, crafted the response these folks would get were we in charge!

#1

THE COMPLAINT: “We were very pleased with our oceanview stateroom… until the second day. At that point, because of salt which accumulated on the windows, we might as well have booked an inside cabin. As a result, we believe we should be compensated for the difference in price between the two stateroom categories.”

OUR RESPONSE: “So sorry. Next time, we’ll try to head directly into a storm so that the rain will wash away the salt. But only if you promise not to complain about the weather on your vacation!”

Oceanview stateroom, room 3016.

#2

THE COMPLAINT: “On the final night of our 7-night cruise, the clocks moved forward an hour. It seems only fair that we be credited the prorated amount.”

OUR RESPONSE: “You paid $2,250 for your 7-night cruise, which lasted 168 hours. Having done the math, we deduced that you are owed $13.40 — we even rounded up! — for the lost hour. Unfortunately, the accountant retained to do this math earns $22 an hour. As a result, you actually owe us $8.60.”

#3

THE COMPLAINT: “We are demanding a full refund for the price of our cruise, as the ship left us behind in Nassau. We made a good-faith effort to get back to the ship only to have it pull away as we were walking down the pier.”

OUR RESPONSE:”You had us… right up to the word ‘walking.’”

#4

THE COMPLAINT: “We had hoped to book a balcony, but wound up having to go with an oceanview stateroom. Imagine our surprise when, despite the cabin having a very nice window, we were unable to open it! What is the point of paying for an oceanview room if you can’t open the window and get fresh air?”

OUR RESPONSE:”The point of paying for an oceanview room would be — follow closely here — the view of the ocean!”

#5

THE COMPLAINT: “My wife went to the casino aboard your ship every single night. And each night, she played the same machine. Not once did she hit a jackpot, despite putting thousands of dollars into that single machine. By day three, it was pretty clear that the machine was broken. We asked around, and nobody else won on it, either. We should be refunded every single dollar she fed into that machine over the course of 7 days.”

OUR RESPONSE:”If it was clear by day 3 that the machine was broken, why did she continue to put money into it?”

#6

THE COMPLAINT: “We planned this cruise for ages, even rescheduling our wedding so that we could go straight from the church to the ship. But bad weather prevented the ship from visiting the private island, where my husband had been planning to go snorkeling. That was the only thing about the entire honeymoon he’d been looking forward to, and it seems only fair that we get at least a partial refund.”

OUR RESPONSE:”Snorkeling was the only thing about your honeymoon he was looking forward to? Er… we’re so sorry!”

#7

THE COMPLAINT: “We were told that there would be all sorts of things for us to do during this cruise, but found that not to be true at all. We aren’t the type of people who want to play trivia, gamble, see shows,  go down waterslides or take part in group activities, so we wound up being completely bored. Why should I pay good money to be bored?”  

OUR RESPONSE: “Are you sure you aren’t actually dead, and simply mistaking it for bored?”

Have you ever heard someone ask for a refund for an outlandish reason? Share it in the comments below!

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EDITORIAL

How Cruising Keeps Us Young

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The 80s music was thumping, the lights were flashing, and, as instructed by the cruise director and his staff, folks were waving their hands in the air as if they just didn’t care. Among them was Marjorie, who was celebrating her 86th birthday dancing the night away at Spice H20 aboard the Norwegian Breakaway.

“This is something I’d never, ever do at home!” she told me, shouting to be heard over the music. “This is why I cruise!”

How Millennials Changed Cruising And Cruisers

It wasn’t all that long ago that cruising was thought of as where grandma and grandpa went to shuffle between Bingo games and the buffet, occasionally stopping to nap on the promenade deck. But that was before freestyle dining, free-fall waterslides, surf simulators, robotic bartenders and on-board breweries… you know, all the things that have been added by cruise lines in part to broaden their appeal to a younger demographic.

But a funny thing happened along the way to luring those young folks: Some of us rediscovered things we thought we’d left behind… or discovered them for the first time. Cruise ships seem to have the same effect on older folks as do weddings… we go from being those people who would shout “Turn that music down!” at home to tearing up the dance floor until the wee hours of the morning.

Why sleep when you can dance until dawn at the “silent disco” party on Norwegian Bliss?

During a recent sailing on Royal Caribbean’s Anthem of the Seas, I watched a teen who was scared to try the RipCord flight simulator be convinced to give it a go… by watching his grandfather do it first. And just shy of my own 55th birthday, I recently went speeding around the upper deck of the Norwegian Bliss on a go-kart before throwing myself into an intense round of laser tag. (To be fair, I killed more of my own teammates than I did our opponents, but I had a heck of a good time doing it!)

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Without doubt, this is a win/win for the cruise industry: Not only are more people hitting the high seas than ever before, but the average age of passengers has dropped significantly over the past 20 years. Plus, by continuing to offer the amenities expected by old-school cruisers even as they pump up the thrills to attract the younger generations, an ever-increasing number of multi-generational groups are sailing.

The “Something For Everyone” Factor

Taking a break from the dance floor — more, I suspect, for my sake than hers — Marjorie told me that she and her husband had cruised together for over three decades, and that when he passed away, she assumed she would probably stop sailing. But it was actually her granddaughter who, seeing an ad on TV, suggested the whole family should take a vacation together. The more they looked into the idea, the more even disinterested members of the clan came around as they found out just how much there would be to do, even if they didn’t get off the ship.

Thrills such as the SkyRide on Carnival Vista and Carnival Horizon are designed to attract new and younger cruisers… but they also wind up appealing to adventurers of all ages! Photo by Andy Newman/Carnival Cruise Line

This cruise, she says, is unlike any she and her husband had taken in the past. “I’m trying to keep up with the young folks,” she says, adding with a laugh, “and I must be doing okay, because I think they went to bed an hour ago!”

This is where I shamefully admit that Marjorie outlasted me, too. Although we crossed paths again several times during the week, including at a whiskey tasting. “I figured what the heck,” she says, raising a glass to toast. “You only live once!”

Have you done things on a cruise ship you probably wouldn’t do at home? Do you believe that cruising helps keep you young? 

 

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EDITORIAL

How Cruise Lines Celebrate Earth Day Every Day

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As cruisers, there’s little we love more than the ocean. And since oceans cover 71 percent of our planet’s surface, it only makes sense that the cruise lines want to do whatever they can to have a positive impact on both the waterways of the world and the land on which their passengers live. So while people around the world are marking Earth Day, we thought it appropriate to take a moment to acknowledge some of the major moves the cruise industry has made over the past few years to try and help Mother Nature.

  • Changing The Way We Cruise
    Let’s face it: Most of us probably don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about the mechanics of cruising. But the industry as a whole is spending a lot of time and money into ships fueled by Liquefied Nitrogen Gas. In fact, Carnival Cruise Line’s Aida division is about to roll out the first-ever ship to be entirely powered by this more environmentally-friendly fuel source.

The Aida Nova will be the first cruise ship is currently under construction. Rendering by AIDA Cruises 

  • Changing The Way They Operate
    Over the past few months, all of the major cruise lines have announced plans to reduce the amount of single-use plastics… with the help of passengers. Royal Caribbean announced that not only will they be cutting back on items such as straws, but that they will also be looking into other aspects of their business to see how they can make major changes in this area.

Straws will soon be available only by request on most cruise lines… and that’s a good thing.

  • Finding Creative Ways To Recycle
    Proving the environment isn’t something cruise lines are only now thinking about, we reported back in 2015 on the fact that Disney Cruise Line was donating its used cooking oil — we’re talking tens of thousands of gallons — to the Bahamas Waste Management organization so that they can in turn use it to fuel some of their vehicles!
  • Encouraging Passengers To Do Their Part
    Most cruise lines offer their passengers the option to get more than one use out of their bathroom towels. And while this might seem like a rather insignificant move, it actually can have a pretty huge impact. After all, if even 100 passengers on each ship opt to get more use out of their towels, think about how many items that takes out of the laundry stream over the course of a year, thus conserving a whole lot of water!
  • Making Decisions That Aren’t Always Popular
    Not every way in which the cruise lines help the environment is always a big hit with every passenger. To this day, Carnival still gets complaints from people who didn’t approve of the decision to remove table cloths from the Main Dining Rooms during most meal services. But again, the number of items taken out of the laundry cycle (and the amount of water and energy conserved as a result) is downright staggering when looked at over the course of a year.

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    The amount of laundry processed by a cruise ship each day is staggering.

  •  Making Recycling A Priority
    Most cruise lines do everything in their power to separate garbage. On some ships, food scraps are ground up and turned into fish food. On others, room stewards sift through garbage to try and separate recyclable items.
  •  Being A Part Of The Global Community
    Over the years, cruise lines have thrown their financial and even political support behind numerous charitable organizations including the World Wildlife Fund and The Nature Conservancy, making it clear that they care not only about the environments populated by their passengers, but the many creatures with whom we share the planet.

 

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EDITORIAL

Cruiser Suggests Removing Gratuity To Send Message

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Upset that a cruise during which she hoped to relax was disturbed by construction taking place on the ship, a disgruntled passenger took to a message board to vent. It was the type of complaint that pops up from time to time on cruise-related message boards, claiming that a significant number of passengers had complained to guest services about their restful vacation being disrupted by the work being done. And like clockwork, one of the people responding to the original posting offered a suggestion which is made far too often.

“When things like this happen,” he suggested, “everyone should go to guest services and remove the daily gratuities. That will send a powerful message to the cruise line!”

Nassau Bahamas

Except, of course, that it wouldn’t. And worse, it would be punishing the wrong people. Think of it this way: If you go to a restaurant and the waitress works her butt off to give you the best service possible, but the food isn’t very good… should your server be punished via a lousy tip? Or would it make more sense to speak to a manager regarding the chef who prepared the food?

Still not convinced? Imagine it was your child working in that restaurant, doing an absolutely top-notch job and yet being stiffed on tips because the chef prepared bad food.

READ MORE: The Ultimate Guide To Cruise Tipping

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The daily gratuities charged by most cruise lines are a subject of much debate. Personally, I’ve long advocated that the charge should be rolled directly into the price of the cruise (which would also cut back on the inevitable outcry which arises each time they are raised). I also think there should be no circumstances under which they can be removed.

“But what if the service is bad?” some will ask.

“Doesn’t matter,” I will respond. Because even if you do come across a few bad apples during the course of your cruise, the vast majority of the crew members — including many you will never see, let alone acknowledge — work hard to make sure you have the best possible vacation.

“I remove the gratuities,” some will say, “and then individually reward those who provide me with good service.” Again, I will remind them of all the people who work hard behind the scenes and who will never be on the receiving end of their magnanimous dispensing of individual tips.

Personally, I can think of nothing that could ever justify my removing the daily gratuities charge from my bill. Beyond that, however, the notion of removing the tips of hard-working individuals as a way to “send a message” to their bosses is incomprehensible to me.

Want to send a message to the corporate offices? Write a letter. Send an E-mail. Heck, take your business to another cruise line and then write a letter letting the one you’ve left behind exactly why you decided to do so. If you truly believe that money talks, then surely the loss of a loyal customer is going to speak far louder than would the comparative pittance that is the daily gratuity charge.

Under what circumstances would — or have — you removed the daily gratuity fee? Do you think the cruise lines should simply roll the fee into the overall cost of the cruise? 

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